As a first-time mum, I quickly learned that crying is a baby’s way of communicating, but that doesn’t make it any easier when you’re sleep-deprived and unsure how to help. I remember the first few weeks, every cry felt like a code we had to crack! If you’re in the same boat, know that you’re not alone. Here’s what I’ve learned about baby crying, why it happens, and how to soothe your little one (and yourself!).

1. Why Is My Baby Crying So Much?
Newborns cry for all sorts of reasons. Hunger, tiredness, overstimulation, discomfort, or simply wanting to be close to you. It’s their only way of communicating at first, so frequent crying is completely normal.
Pay attention to patterns. Does your baby cry at the same times each day? Are there particular cues before they start crying (like rooting or yawning)? Learning these small signs helps meet their needs before they get upset.
How partners can help: Try soothing baby with skin-to-skin contact, a walk outside, or rocking them gently.
Mama’s Self-Care: Take a breath before responding to each cry. You’re doing an amazing job just by being there for your baby.

2. How Do I Know If It’s Colic?
Colic is one of the most frustrating experiences for new parents, long periods of intense crying, often in the evenings, with no clear reason.
Try bicycle legs to relieve gas, hold baby in a colic-friendly position (like the ‘tiger in the tree’ hold), or use white noise to create a calming environment. If you’re breastfeeding, certain foods in your diet could contribute, so consider tracking what you eat to see if there’s a link.
How partners can help: Take turns rocking baby, walk around with them in a sling, or just be there to reassure mum that she’s not alone in this.
Mama’s Self-Care: If colic is getting overwhelming, step outside for fresh air while your partner holds your baby. A short break can make a world of difference.

3. Is My Baby in Pain or Just Fussy?
Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if a baby’s crying is normal fussiness or a sign of discomfort.
Check for signs of gas, reflux, or teething. If your baby is arching their back or pulling up their legs, gas could be the culprit. Teething might come with excessive drooling and chewing on hands. If in any doubt, contact your healthcare provider.
How partners can help: Be the detective! Observe patterns, track feeds, and offer gentle tummy massages if baby seems uncomfortable.
Mama’s Self-Care: Trust your instincts, if something feels off, reach out to your healthcare provider. You know your baby best.

4. Best Soothing Techniques for a Crying Baby
Every baby is different, but some tried-and-true methods include:

• Cuddle in close
• Skin-to-skin contact
• Swaddling (if your baby likes it)
• Fresh Air
• White noise (a fan, shushing, or a sound machine)
• Gentle rocking or bouncing
• A warm bath

How partners can help: Learn these techniques too! Having both parents involved gives mum a well-deserved break.
Mama’s Self-Care: Experiment to find what works for your baby without pressuring yourself to get it perfect every time.

5. Can I Hold My Baby Too Much?
Short answer: NO! Babies need love, comfort, and connection. There no such thing as “spoiling” a baby, that archaic narrative needs to stay in the past!
Holding and responding to your baby’s cries builds trust and attachment, which leads to a more secure child in the long run. The “cry-it-out” method isn’t recommended for newborns, (or any age of baby in my opinion) as they rely on you for regulation and comfort. All key for a secure attachment.
How partners can help: Be a team, take turns holding baby so mum can rest.
Mama’s Self-Care: If you’re feeling touched-out, try babywearing so you can still have your hands free while keeping baby close.

6. Why Does My Baby Cry More at Night?
Evenings are often the hardest, thanks to overstimulation and newborn sleep cycles.
Create a calming bedtime routine: dim lights, reduce noise, and try a gentle massage before bed.
How partners can help: Handle the last feed or rocking session so mum can have an early night.
Mama’s Self-Care: Keep night-time wake-ups as simple as possible. Have nappies and feeds prepped in advance to minimize stress.

7. What If Nothing Stops the Crying?
Sometimes, nothing works, and that’s okay.
If you’ve checked hunger, discomfort, and sleepiness, but baby is still upset, it might just be a fussy moment. Stay calm and keep offering comfort. If in any doubt, contact your healthcare provider.
How partners can help: Remind mama she’s not failing. Offer to take over so she can step away for a breather.
Mama’s Self-Care: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, put baby down safely in their cot and take a few deep breaths. Your well-being matters too.

8. Does Crying Affect My Baby’s Development?
In the sort answer no, crying is a normal part of development, and responding to your baby’s cry and needs helps them feel secure.
Respond to cries with love and patience. You’re building a strong emotional foundation. How partners can help: Offer words of encouragement. A simple “You’re doing great” can mean everything.
Mama’s Self-Care: Don’t compare your baby’s crying patterns to others, every baby is different.

9. How Can My Partner Help?
Soothing a crying baby isn’t just mum’s job. Partners helping out is a great support to both mama and baby… you’re in this together!
How partners can help: Take over during fussy periods, help with night feeds, and provide much-needed emotional support.
Mama’s Self-Care: Lean on your support system. You don’t have to do this alone.

10. When Should I Worry About My Baby’s Crying?
Most crying is normal, but consult your healthcare provider if you notice:

• A sudden change in crying pattern
• Weak, high-pitched, or unusual crying
• Other symptoms like breathing struggles, fever, vomiting, or rash

Trust your instincts, if something feels off, seek medical advice. You can never be too careful and you know your baby!
How partners can help: Be proactive in making doctor’s appointments or researching concerns together.
Mum’s Self-Care tip: Don’t feel guilty for asking for help or reassurance.

Challenges & “Fix Its”

Feeling Overwhelmed
Crying can be overwhelming for everyone, you’re not alone!
Fix it: Step away when needed, take deep breaths, tag in your partner and go easy on yourself!

Nighttime Crying Spikes
When exhaustions hits, those extra cry’s at night can be challenging!
Fix it: Stick to a simple, soothing routine and share the load. You’re in this together!

Worrying About ‘Getting It Right’
The pressure us new mama’s put ourselves under to have everything figured out and perfect is A LOT!
Fix it: Remind yourself that babies cry, it’s not a reflection of your parenting! If it gets too much, take a break and step away.

Caring for a newborn isn’t easy, but you’re not alone. By responding with love, leaning on your support system, and nurturing yourself, you’re giving your baby everything they need.

What works for one baby, may not work for another baby, but this is what worked for us!

Through Baby & You Nurture, I support parents in navigating these early years with compassion and understanding.

Because parenting is hard enough without feeling like you’re doing it wrong.

Support for Parents in the Early Years

The early years of parenting can bring huge joy, but also uncertainty and emotional overwhelm.

Through Baby & You Nurture, I offer therapeutic coaching and emotional support for parents during pregnancy and the first three years of their child’s life.

My approach combines:

• Pesso Boyden (PBSP) therapy principles
• NLP coaching
• My own experience navigating life as a first-time mum

Because when parents feel supported, babies feel safe too.